I'm not dead yet!

ON AIR:

Monty Python's Spamalot
Song: He Is Not Dead Yet

ROBIN (spoken):
Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

LANCE (spoken):
Here's one.

DAD (spoken):
I'm not dead!

ROBIN (spoken):
Here, he says he's not dead!

LANCE (spoken):
Yes he is.

DAD (spoken):
I feel happy. I feel happy.
(sung)
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling

I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
Cause I'm not yet dead.

BODIES:
He is not yet dead
That's what the geezer said
No, he's not yet dead
That man is off his head

He is not yet dead
So put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead.

Well now he's dead
You whacked him on the head
Sure, now he's dead
It makes me just see red
You are such a brute
To murder that old coot
You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead
Who is the knave who put him in his grave
And who needs to manage his anger?

LANCE:
My name is Lancelot
I'm big, and strong, and hot.
Occasionally I do
Some things that I should not.

ROBIN:
I want to be a knight
But I don't like to fight
I'm rather scared I may
Just simply run away

LANCE:
I'll be right with you
Robin, through and through and through
So stick with me
And I'll show you what to do

ROBIN:
We'll remain good chums
You can teach me how to dance

ROBIN & LANCE:
We're going to enlist

ROBIN
I'm Robin

LANCE
And I'm Lance

CHORUS:
Oh we're off to war
Because we're not yet dead
We will all enlist
As the Knights that Arthur led.

DAD:
I am coming too
My name will be Sir Fred
I'll be your musician
Cos I'm not yet dead

CHORUS:
Oh we're not yet dead
To Camelot we go
To enlist instead
To try and earn some dough
And so although
We should have stayed in bed
We're going off to war
Because we're not yet dead

FRED:
I am coming, too
My name will be Sir Fred
I'll be your musician
'Cause I'm not yet dead

LANCE:
To kill
I will
It gives me such a thrill

ROBIN:
To sing
And dance
And keep an eye on Lance

ALL:
We're going off to war
We'll have girlfriends by the score

DAD:
We'll be shot by Michael Moore!

ALL: Because we're not yet dead.